Dear Love Coach:
I need a clarification on something and trust you can help me with this. The issue is: Two people met (male and female) and began to build a relationship, being friends from the start. They eventually fell in love although they already had partners. They all claimed they weren’t happy in their formal relationship and want to move on.
The lady has been able to end her formal relationship but the guy refuses to end his. Thus, anytime it seems he’s eventually ended things with his formal girlfriend he ends up with her again. On the fact that she comes in and cry to be accepted again. The guy can’t seem to end his formal relationship because he’s been with her for long and claims he loves her. Neither is he ready to let the new girlfriend go because he loves her and can’t stand to loose her to anyone. Although the new girlfriend has accepted his relationship with the other girlfriend and want him to move on with her. Please in your view which one do you think he truly loves?
— A letter from He loves me not?
Greetings He loves me not:
Thanks for reaching out. This is quite a situation! It’s difficult when people start their relationship off with deception to then hope for something true and something real to develop from it. When the two people were seeing each other they created a pact of distrust as they were seeing each other while being involved with someone else. Both being deceptive to their partners.
I know that the hook up girl has left her former partner but does she expect honesty and integrity from the hook up guy?
Men are often slow to leave a relationships even if they are unhappy. Sometimes the man loves the comfort of the situation more than he loves the woman. Sometimes he loves the woman in his own way but still chooses to see other women.
Who knows, she might know about the mistress and chooses to ignore the situation. Trust me, many know but choose to turn their head. It doesn’t surprise me that he didn’t move on but the hook up girlfriend did.
Yes, a man can actually love two women at the same time, just loving them differently and for different reasons but that doesn’t mean he respects either of them.
It sounds like he has made his choice. There’s not much the girlfriend can do to make him leave his formal girlfriend. This is the situation she created. Essentially, she made her bed and now may have to lie in it, alone.
KTJ
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