Dear Love Coach:

Good evening, I have an issue and I was wondering how should I handle it. I am hoping you can help me out. There is a guy who really likes me and he goes lengths to make me happy. We have been platonic friends for a very long time.

Now he wants something different, but the truth is that I am not attracted to him like that! I mean, l can’t see the relationship being a romantic one. I often wonder…could l be missing out on a good relationship? Is it that I just feel guilty because he is mostly there for me whenever I need him? Am confused, please help!

Sincerely,

-Nyengeterai

Hello Nyengeterai:

Thank you for the letter. I hear the challenge. It sounds like there is a shift in the friendship. Generally this is a good sign. Many people who are great friends can have it turn into love. A good friendship is a great foundation for a great relationship. The problem is it seems that it’s only turning to love for one person… him!

I have learned that some people just have this magical, God-given power that makes people feel comfortable and connected easily. This magical power causes people to think that you like them in a romantic way but you’re just being friendly. You seem to have that power. 

Since you have such a magical power you must be careful in your friendships and connections. Be clear about the status of your feelings towards them. When you sense that they are giving you more attention, you must stop them and have a frank conversation. 

You must establish boundaries in your friendships so that no one gets the wrong idea and gets their feelings hurt.  Also, understand, that when men invest their time and attention in you, it is a sign of romantic interest. This may feel good to you but if you let it continue, you are leading them on and that is just not right. 

I suggest you be direct with him, stop seeing him and communicating as a romantic partner, and begin acting more like his platonic friend.

Kelvin Troy Johnson, The Love Coach of Atlanta

To find out more, watch this video: How Do You Know If A Man Is Secretly In Love With You.

Meet Kelvin Troy Johnson, a man who wears many hats. According to his Facebook page, Mr. Johnson is a motivator, personal development coach, radio talk show host and above all, The Love Coach of Atlanta. For years Mr. Johnson has been putting his degree in Psychology from Norfolk State University to use by providing advice to people who are looking for love.